I spend most of my life as a walking, talking cliché. After the breakdown of my 3 year relationship I went a bit nuts. I hadn’t broken up with someone I loved before so didn’t know how I was supposed to behave. I have spent the last 6 months binge drinking, dancing, going on holiday (Vegas is still to come) and enjoying the single life. It’s only recently that I have started to feel lonely. The evenings and weekends can seem like an endless stretch of spare time. Instead of working on my ‘life goals’ I find myself wishing that I had a date or someone to cuddle. I miss that comfortable familiarity of spending time with someone I love. The love shack that is Facebook doesn’t even bother me (honestly) but what does is all the relationships quotes.
I am overwhelmed by ‘relationship goals’, apparently I should be building an empire with someone. This is not Hollywood.
I’m interested in meeting a young professional who is funny, intelligent, well travelled and ambitious…. am I asking for too much? I don’t think that I am. So many people waste their time with incompatible partners, I’m not prepared to do that. Us singles are told not to be picky or to consider people who don’t quite meet the criteria. Why should I do that? There are literally millions of people to choose from. I recently went to see a documentary called Looking for Love and it looked at how different generations viewed relationships. It looks like 20 somethings are happy to settle for unhappy and unhealthy relationships just so that they are not alone.
I don’t believe in the rebound, friends with benefits (tried and tested) or anything else that isn’t real. Life is to short to pretend. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you would like to share your life with someone. This blog isn’t a ‘how to guide’ on how to find a partner- there are enough of those already. These are just my thoughts on waiting for the one.
Single can be lonely (Lets be honest)
There is nothing wrong with admitting that single life gets lonely sometimes. It doesn’t make you pathetic or sad. I can be out with my friends and still feel lonely. They can only offer a certain type of company. Despite this I refuse to reminiscence about past relationships or message old flames. Like me, just accept that it’s normal to feel lonely and distract yourself. In the last couple of months I have started to date myself. I am becoming comfortable with my own company. There is nothing like watching something you really want to watch or spending hours reading without someone disturbing you.
Write your ‘partner wish list’ (wishes are free)
I once read a self-help booked called The Secret which was all about how positive thoughts creates physical manifestations in your life. Although I do believe this is true for most things, I don’t know if love and relationships are part of this. If this was the case, why haven’t we met our dream partners already? Despite this, I think it’s good to know what you are looking for. It makes it easier to eliminate unsuitable candidates before feelings develop. I recently encouraged a friend to make a partner wish list and she was reluctant at first. I think most people don’t like to feel they are forcing things to happen. What’s wrong with knowing what you want?
You wouldn’t go to a supermarket without a shopping list, so why would you be willing to accept the first person who walks past?
Be open to love
I think this can be the hardest thing to do if you have been hurt or single for a long time. It’s easy to become bitter and think negatively about love and relationships. While you are doing this you could be preventing yourself from getting to know potential partners. No one want’s to be around someone who constantly talks about their ex or puts up a barrier when they are getting close. Everyone is not the same. You shouldn’t allow the issues from your past relationships/experiences to affect how to interact with new people. Love is the most powerful thing in the world. We all want it and we all need it. The best way to open yourself to love is by loving yourself.
I don’t know how this blog will be received because I haven’t written anything like this before. I am known for giving advice in my personal and professional life but I think people forget that I need advice too. I want to know about your experiences of the single life.
- Do you think ‘the one’ exists?
- How do you make the most of the single life?
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