The Quarter Life Crisis

22 Sunday May 2016

Posted by thegraduate21 in Graduate Stories

Tags

20 something, depression, generation y, Happiness, life, quarter life crisis

Last weekend I went to a medieval banquet with an old university friend. We dressed up in medieval clothes, drank red wine from a pint glass and danced in a circle with complete strangers. Then we moved on to ‘Satan’s Den’ where we downed Sambuca shots (foul) and took selfies on a double bed that we found hidden in a corner near the bar. It felt like the carefree days of uni. I think we both embraced the night because it was a break from life. Having fun was enough, I didn’t have to think about the future. I could just live in the moment. It was a nice break because over the past six months I have been consumed by depression and anxiety.

They say the ‘quarter life crisis’ is a time of uncertainty, stress and fear about the future. I have experienced it all. I’m not were I thought I would be in my career, I still live at home, I can’t seem to make my wages last the month and my jeans are still tight. Every week I start a new diet, attempt to save money and try and figure out my career path. By the end of the month I am eating everything, avoiding my bank account and having ‘that life’ conversation with another disillusioned 20 something while we try to avoid getting drunk- impossible. Older friends and family tell me that I am worrying unnecessarily ‘Your 24 years old’ ‘ You have your whole life ahead of you’. The problem is I have no idea what that looks like.

I have spent the last few years trying to ‘become someone’. I thought that meant chasing the next job, finding a serious relationship and losing weight. Neither is happening in the way I would like and this has caused me to become depressed. It’s been hard but I have decided to let go of my expectations. I always told myself that I couldn’t be happy until I achieved the next goal. What if this is it? I may never achieve ‘success’ I might not be married by 30 and my jeans are likely to remain tight unless I buy a bigger pair. I’m not an expert, I live the struggle daily but the following are things that I have been thinking about.

Un-become everything that isn’t you

As a society we are obsessed with ‘becoming’ something. We spend our lives trying to fix ourselves. Generation Y have taken this to another level. Why spend so much time trying to change ourselves all in the hope that it will bring happiness. You will never be happy until you accept yourself for who you really are. I am slowly learning this. I have always been obsessed with wearing heels, they made me feel beautiful. I conveniently ignored the fact that I struggled to walk in them and I would have sore feet for at least a day after my night out. I hardly wear heels now, my comfort is much more important. What are trying to become? If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not you.

Work is a living not a life

I have a love/hate relationship with my job. One minute I feel like I am making a difference and the next I feel like another cog in the machine. The promotion I dream about seems more distant, I get disheartened and I feel like I am wasting my life. This has been a major cause of my unhappiness. I am starting to realize that jobs shouldn’t define you. It doesn’t matter how many mistakes I make or how difficult my colleagues are. I come in each day and do my best to change people’s lives. I have a job that aligns with my values and that is a blessing. You may be in a job that you hate or not progressing fast enough. You could look for a new job and that might make you happy for a while. However, happiness is never guaranteed. The most important thing is to try and find value in your work. Your job gives you the money needed to build a life- never forget that.

You can’t find love on a schedule

The number one topic of conversation is always relationships and my lack of one. I have been single for over a year and it’s not fun any more. I watch people getting married and having babies and wonder, is that ever going to happen to me? I hope so but the truth is I can’t force a relationship. Every man/woman shouldn’t be looked at as a potential life partner. You shouldn’t be mentally assessing someone when you first meet them. Dating has become boring and robotic. Dating Apps such as Plenty of Fish or Tinder tell us that value can only be found in someone’s physical appearance. We treat each other like commodities, selling yourself in the hope that someone will buy. A relationship based on the superficial will never last. I know it’s hard but we need to stop thinking that we can make love a ‘goal’. It will just happen.

I wasn’t sure about writing this post. I have been avoiding my blog because I didn’t feel like I had anything interesting or positive to say. I don’t have the answers, each day is still a struggle but I hope that this post helps someone. Let’s commit to sharing the struggles as well as the success, life is about both.

The Second Adolescence: Why your 20s is the opportunity to find yourself all over again.

15 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

20 something, dreams, generation y, Graduate, Happiness, life in your 20's, personal development

I have spent the last 18 months living like a ”proper adult”. Working the 9-5, hating Monday mornings and smoking cigarettes to take the edge of my stressful but mundane existence. Although I have recently quit my 5 a day habit, I still worry about my wobbly middle and when I will be able to afford to leave my parent’s house. I have gone through depression, manic positivity and back again. I was so preoccupied with what I felt my life should be that I have refused to live it. I would constantly make excuses about why I couldn’t do something. How could I go out when I should be saving? I knew that I was wasting my 20 something years.

Then suddenly something changed. I was looking back at my university albums on Facebook and I saw a girl I didn’t recognise. That girl loved to dress up, party and have fun. I could have a great night with just £20 but now I refused to go out unless I had £100. I wanted to feel like that again. I wanted to experience new things, travel the world and feel carefree. Don’t get me wrong my university years weren’t perfect but I did have some great experiences. To be honest I wasn’t sure where to start when it came to being carefree again. Then I discovered the best book I have ever read:

”The defining decade: Why your 20s matter and how to make the most of them now”

A no nonsense psychologist use’s her experience of the 20 something state to provide guidance on mental health, relationships and careers. Dr Meg said that most people see their 20s as an extended adolescence but it wasn’t. This is the one thing that I disagreed with. I think the 20 something years are actually a second adolescence. Do you remember what it was like to be 15? Raging hormones and loving and hating with equal measure. Most of all fiercely sticking to your beliefs. Well this time around it could be even better. As adults we tend to conform to the belief’s of our families, friends and society in general. Does this make you happy? This is your last chance to create an authentic life. A life filled with your passions, values and vision.

Find your vocation

When I left university I was determined to find a job that I loved. I always assumed it would be working in a Publishing House but my path took me to the Student Movement. As a student advisor I am responsible for providing academic advice. I also offer relationships advice, tissues and great hugs. My job allows me to use the skills that come naturally to me. I leave my office every night knowing that I have made a difference to someone’s life. My job isn’t glamorous and it wont make me rich but I love it. What do you love?

Ever heard the saying “find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life?” it’s true. I am always sorting out family disputes, relationship breakdowns and the problems of my friends- without payment I might add. I actually get paid to help people now, it can’t get better then that. Do you enjoy your job? If the answer is no then you need to find something better. You are too young to settle for a job that your not passionate about. This the time when we have minimal responsibilities. Find the career you want before you have real commitments like a mortgage or children.

Stop worrying and just do it

In January I booked a holiday to Gambia with my best friend. Why? Because it was cheap, cultured and hot. Simple. Would I have done something like this last year? No. I was too busy worrying about saving for my imaginary flat, my old age and anything else that my mother suggested. I pay a monthly pension (because old age will happen) and my bills. Everything else is there for what I like to call ”enjoy my life fund”. I am only here once and I want to experience as much of life as I can. Things change and there might be a time where I can’t be so spontaneous with my time or money but I can right now. What could you be doing right now?

I think we can hold ourselves back because we feel like we should be living like an adult. Are you parent’s happy with their lives? Some might be but most of them aren’t. The biggest regret I hear from older people is not doing more when they were younger. A holiday could give you a new perspective on life. Doing something different usually brings new opportunities. If you allow fear and worry to hold you back, your life will never be fun or exciting.

What does this all mean?

I came up with this blog when I was watching my favourite show called Absolutely Fabulous. The show is centred around two middle class alcoholics who live for the moment. For me it’s not about the drug taking or the chain smoking. It’s about two women who live according to their own rules. I think it’s important to make the most of our 20 something years. This might mean drinking until you pass out, travelling the world or just making time for hobbies. The important thing is to make the most of your time, your passions, and your loved ones.

Image

How to Make a Living while Creating a Life

15 Friday Aug 2014

Tags

dreams, generation y, Happiness, work life balance

Wouldn’t you love your office to look like this?

I never wanted to work the 9-5 but it happened. I always thought that working conventional hours would give me an ordinary life. In many ways my life is ordinary. I hate myself every morning when my alarm goes off at 6am. I spend my daily commute trying not to kill anyone and the best part of my day is spent sitting at a desk. I spent a year feeling like a failure because I wasn’t spending my days in a publishing house and my evenings writing a best seller. I couldn’t separate work and life because they had merged into one. I constantly thought about quitting my job. Why did I work so hard at university to end up living the life of countless others?

The Epiphany

I knew I couldn’t continue to live like this. I was completely miserable and would day dream about my days as a student. They weren’t the greatest days but I did remember experiencing a freedom that I hadn’t felt since I started working. I decided to discuss my predicament with a close friend. A delicious meal and bottle of wine (or 2, I can never remember) later I had found the answer to my problem. I saw my job as a restriction rather then an opportunity. I work in a creative environment with a group of incredibly talented people. I have the opportunity to change the lives of others as well as changing my own. I could write in the evenings, party at the weekends and travel the world one country at a time. There was nothing stopping me from creating the life I had always wanted.

Create the Desk of your Dreams

If your anything like me you have a ton of things you want to do, experience and buy. I have a very messy desk in my mother’s spare room and I love it. It’s a place were I can write without distractions and focus on myself. Lately I have been thinking about upgrading the furniture and turning it into a mini office. I will stick my vision boards all over the walls, buy a new desk top and surround it with sweet smelling candles. Everyone has a passion, a purpose or a goal. You spend everyday at your desk developing a business and a brand. What about taking some time to develop yourself?

Experience New Things

I used to think “going travelling” meant spending a year battling the Australian outback while staying in grotty hostels. This doesn’t suit everyone and most of us couldn’t fund a year travelling the world. I have decided to start out small. I want to visit all of the major cities in the UK. I went to Edinburgh last summer and it was like stepping into another world. That city proved that there is beauty and culture just around the corner. When my daily commute becomes too much I remember that my possibilities are endless. Whatever you want to do, remember you are the only one that can make that happen.

Accept that Work and Life can’t be Separated

When I first started working I thought that I could switch my feelings and emotions off. I didn’t want to make friends and I didn’t want them to know anything about me. Why? I thought that was the best way to protect myself and look professional. In the end I just ended up looking unsociable and probably slightly weird. Whether we like it or not, work is a big part of life. Ideally you shouldn’t hate your job, but even if you do, see it as an opportunity. What skills could you develop at work that will make you a better person? I am a very emotional person and often take criticism personally. This is true in both my personal and professional life. By developing coping strategies I will become a happier and more relaxed person. This is just one way of looking at work in a positive light. If you can’t change the job, change the way you think about it.

The constant debate I have with friends (and myself) inspired me to write this blog. Is it really possible to create the kind of life you want while working full time? Most people think us Generation Y-ers live with our heads in the clouds. I know I do. I am an idealist and I will always try to live the life of my dreams. In the meantime I will have to dream part time.

What do you think?

Posted by thegraduate21 | Filed under Work

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The Insecure Professional : How to build confidence at work

18 Sunday May 2014

Posted by thegraduate21 in Work

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Tags

confidence, generation y, Graduate, Happiness, life, networking, work life balance, young professional

Do you remember all the group work you were forced to do at university? I do. I didn’t care about the content of the PowerPoint and I would usually be hungover on presentation day. Thankfully my studious group members would cover for me and I would end up achieving a decent mark with minimal work. At the time I couldn’t see the point of group work. I was usually forced to work with people who I didn’t know and hated listening to other peoples ideas.

Now I realise how important those group sessions were. In most jobs you are required to brainstorm collectively and work on projects. I have always been very outspoken, so I was shocked to realise I struggled to present my ideas. This wasn’t pointless uni work and these projects were helping build my organisation. I thought people would dismiss my ideas or that I would come across as bossy. After a few months I realised I had to speak up. I wanted to help shape my organisation and improve our reputation. In order to do this I had to work on my confidence. Here are my top tips for building confidence at work.

Socialise with your colleagues

I am a private person and I like keeping my personal life separate from work. Unfortunately this is almost impossible – 90% of my office are 30 and under. This means they enjoy frequent socials- after work drinks, wild club nights and even the odd lunch. Social media has made us nosy and we want to know intimate details of each other’s lives. Work is no different. You need to get to know your colleagues on a personal level. Take an interest in their hobbies and relationships. This will automatically improve your work relationships. As you get to know them better they will seem less intimidating. If you have a group brainstorming session coming up send a preliminary email with your best ideas. This will allow you to gauge a response and help you come up with more ideas.

I always think it’s best to be honest and open with your colleagues. It’s always best to address problems early. There is nothing worse then building quiet resentment towards someone. It will only make you feel uncomfortable around them and you are less likely to engage with the team. This is the key to confidence.

Have one-to-ones with your manager

My manger is very big on personal development and progression. In our one to ones we often discuss personal/professional barriers to success at work. He also helps me mange my work load and shows me techniques to help manage stress. I find these sessions invaluable and they help me become more confident in all aspects of my life. I believe you should be completely open with your manger, they will respect you for it. You will also become someone they can trust. This will bring you opportunities and greater freedom within your work. If you have low confidence discuss this with your manger. They will be able to help. Talking to a senior manger will also build your confidence in talking to senior members of staff. This will help you as you progress throughout your career. If you don’t have one-to-one sessions with your manager already you can request them. As a new graduate you need help making that transition from student to professional.

Work past your limiting beliefs

A limiting belief is a negative thought you constantly tell yourself. For example, if you constantly tell yourself that your crap at presentations you will start to believe that. Even if you have had a bad experience in the past you shouldn’t obsess over that. Presentation skills can be learnt like many other things. If you have identified a weak spot make an effort to learn more about it. You are now a life long learner and should relish challenges. Limiting beliefs are very damaging and can stop progression. It’s important that you learn how to mange your thoughts. Replace limiting beliefs with positive ones. I know there must have been times when you were studying that you thought you wouldn’t make it through- I know I did. But you finished. Allow your past successes to motivate you. If you would like to learn more about limiting beliefs check out How to mange your limiting beliefs.

I think many of us struggle with low confidence and this can make life feel overwhelming. These tips can only help you improve your confidence at work. If your low confidence is linked to deeper issues this may be something you want to explore with a counsellor. Whatever you do, in all things choose happiness.

How to Achieve your Personal Best

26 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

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dreams, Goals, Happiness, new year resolutions, personal best, Self-help, you can change your life

I always find the start of a new year exciting and stressful. I like looking back on all my past successes and taking the time to appreciate how far I have come. On the other hand, I hate all sources of media in January. New year has transformed into another money sucking holiday, as people are told all the things they should want, be, do or have. It’s time to claim this new year (I feel like quite a rebel writing this on the 4th January) and make a commitment to achieving your personal best.

What is your Personal Best

Think about all the things that you have always wanted to change in your life. Do you want to lose weight, get a new job or simply start saving for a rainy day? Write a list of all the things that would make you happier. Now cross off everything that is unrealistic. Everyone has different ideas about what’s realistically obtainable, so think about this carefully. You may be in a position to buy a house this year, whereas for someone else this could be a completely unrealistic goal. Your final list defines your personal best.

Eliminate Fear

Now you have a list of goals you need to decide how you will achieve them. One of the biggest obstacles to achieving your goals is fear. We are all to worried about what other people are going to think and feel about our choices. I feel that family and friends often stop us from being our happiest selves. Your choices may upset, shock and even hurt other people. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make them. You only have one life and you should live it in whatever way you choose. If you choose to live in fear you will be forced to live in regret.

Be Patient

Learning patience is so important when you are making changes in your life. I personally struggle with this every day. I want to see results as soon as I start exercising or writing. It just doesn’t work like that. I have given up on so many things because I didn’t have the patience. There is nothing more disappointing then giving up on something that you really want. Think of it this way, time is going to pass anyway so you might as well work on your goals. Where do you want to be this time next year?

The Bottom Line

Why do I write blogs or share my thoughts with anyone? Writing gives me a purpose, it makes me happy and I feel like I can help people. This passion and drive I feel for writing can be applied to anything else in my life. I just need to make the effort. At 22 years old I am young, creative and I could do anything. This is the time to change. This is the time to try everything and hope for the best. I don’t want to live with regrets and neither should you. I feel that the biggest gift that anyone can have is youth. It’s time to create your life.

*This year I want to connect with even more people. I enjoy reading all your comments and having discussion. Don’t be shy 🙂

How to Manage your Limiting Beliefs

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Belief, Goals, Happiness, Internal monologue, Mental Health, Mind

How many times have you been told a positive attitude is the key to success? I personally believe this because I have seen how it can transform a bad situation. However, its not always easy to achieve things when that little voice in your head won’t shut up. This is the voice that tells you that your not good enough. You believe this voice and you allow it to stop your progress.

This negative inner voice is the foundation of all your limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is something that is untrue but you have convinced yourself that it is. A good example is going to a job interview. You know that the employer is interested (hence the interview) but you convince yourself that your not good enough to get the job.

These negative thoughts could be the opinions others have about you or insecurities you hold about yourself. Most commonly we seem to be developing a mild form of body dysmorphia because we are obsessed with changing a perfectly normal body, into a Hollywood lollipop. What ever negative thoughts you hold about yourself, it’s time to get rid of them. You deserve to live a happy and accomplished life. Don’t allow that negative voice to stop you from achieving your goals.

Insert your limiting belief here { }

I’m not good enough
I always do that
That will never happen to me.

We have all said one of the above at some point. Repeating that same negative phrase over and over again will start to make you feel depressed. You begin to believe those things about yourself and miss valuable opportunities. Write down all your limiting beliefs and then ask yourself if they are really true. Think back to a challenging time in your life and about how you dealt with that. It’s time to start changing the way you think.

Replace the negative with a positive

Create a new set of beliefs that you repeat quietly in your head . Write these on brightly coloured post it notes and stick them in places that you go everyday. Soon you will start to believe them and slowly things will begin to change. You will feel more confident in taking on new challenges. Your life will no longer be limited and you can allow yourself to achieve anything. This isn’t an easy process and you will always have negative thoughts from time to time. The important thing is not to allow them to take over your life.

I believe that there are many things that make a successful person. A positive attitude is one, but learning how to be dynamic and adapt to change without falling apart is another. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to grow into the person that you have always wanted to be.

5 Things that Prevent your Happiness

25 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Goals, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, People

Happiness so many different things and each person has their own definition. Like many of you, I felt that I would finally reach happiness when I graduated. This was short lived and I was soon searching for something else to make me happy. The truth is no matter how many life goals I achieve, I will never be happy because I can’t appreciate what I already have. How many of you really appreciate the people/ things that you have in your life? Some people might call this ungratefulness but I think there is more to it than that. I like to think that we are part of the extreme dream generation. Our parents had dreams but they were more achievable then ours. Most of us want to own multiple properties, have a jet set career and have more money than we could ever spend. For the first time I’m beginning to think that there is something wrong with this.

We are putting impossible expectations on ourselves and this is preventing us from enjoying life. How many of you are thinking about your next promotion when you haven’t even mastered your current position? Or maybe you’re obsessed with losing weight or finding your ideal partner. I think that career, body and love are the three areas that most people would like to improve. You should remember that you have limited control in these areas of your life. It’s time to stop searching for happiness and realise that you already have it.

I want…

This is a habit that starts in childhood and gets worse as we get older. We all deserve to enjoy a few of life’s luxuries but this can turn into an obsession. If you begin to feel that your money/salary isn’t enough to fund your lifestyle then you may have a problem. Your lifestyle should be adapted to your income. If you can’t afford to buy something on your debit card then you can’t afford it. Avoid credit cards and learn to live within your means. You will find that certain things will be out of your reach or you might have to save up for months in order to afford a holiday/ possession. Ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice others things to get this. If the answer is yes then save, if the answer is no then you have decided that this thing is not a necessity. Once you begin to do this, you will no longer associate happiness with possessions.

I hate my job…

This is a common one. Many of us begin to hate our job when we feel unappreciated, bored or want a fresh start. The first thing you need to ask yourself is do you hate the job or is it the people? Most people will work with at least one person that they don’t like but you shouldn’t allow this to ruin your life. Grin and bear it. Be polite to that person but decline any social events that they may be attending. If you feel that you hate your job then you need to ask yourself what you don’t like about it. Maybe you find it uninspiring or it doesn’t allow you to achieve a good work/life balance. Discuss this with your manager and see if things can be improved. If nothing changes then you should begin to look for something better. It won’t be easy but in the long run you will be happier. You spend most of your life at work and it’s up to you to choose the right job and environment.

My Life is boring….

What do you want from your life? This could be anything from travelling the world to learning how to cook Greek food. No one has the right to limit you to a job, a friendship group or a country. When you have decided what you want then you can begin to make these things happen. It’s easy to compare your life to others but remember people publicise their successes and not their struggles. Explore your interests and hobbies on a regular basis. This might turn into a business or could simply be a way to relax. Life is what you make it and only you can decide how exciting your journey is.

I wish I could leave home…

This one is close to my heart as I’m always wishing that I could move out. It has become a bit of an obsession and I convince myself that I won’t be happy until I leave. Most people don’t enjoy living at home as you can’t have the freedoms you would have living at alone. However, I have started to look at the benefits or not pay a large rent and having minimal responsibility. This extra money means I can do more things and learn to budget without the pressures of running a house. Use this time to prepare for your independent life. This means living under mum and Dad’s rules to keep the peace. This is going to be a hard one to stick to and it might not always happen. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. Try not to attach your happiness to moving out.

I’m not achieving my goals…

This is a very personal one for me and something that I think about on a daily basis. Why am I not achieving my goals faster? In an ideal world we would work on our goals everyday but life gets in the way. If you find that you’re not achieving anything, then you should ask yourself if you’re trying to achieve too much. Gradual change is better than none and you can’t expect to achieve everything overnight. Sometimes it’s good to take a break from achieving and enjoy just living. Waking up in the morning without an extensive to do list or giving yourself a break if you’re tired. Get out of this “no excuses” mind frame and be kind to yourself. Taking a more relaxed approach to your goals will make them more enjoyable rather than tedious.

You don’t have to wait until January before you can begin to feel happy. Enjoy the journey while you create the life that you want.

Gratitude For Beginners

15 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

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Graduate, Gratitude, Happiness, Philosophy, positivity, Social Networking

Choose happiness

Are you someone who is never satisfied with life? Maybe you feel that everyone is more intelligent, beautiful or more successful then you. The truth is you can never get an accurate picture of someone’s life through their Instagram or Facebook status. Stop focusing on the lives of others and start thinking about how you can improve your own life. The first step is appreciating what you already have.

I know you may be thinking, what do I have to be grateful for? You might be unemployed, stuck in a dead end job or can’t seem to find a meaningful relationship. There is always someone who has it worse than you do. There are so many things in life that we can’t control so why stress over them? Let them go. Instead focus on the things that are going well. You might have an amazing support system or be a really good friend. Whatever it is focus on the positives and in time you will begin to feel more content.

If you could change one thing what would it be? We all have circumstances/ people that are preventing us from being happy. It’s hard to find gratitude and positivity in a life that is negative. If the people around you do not add value to your life get rid of them. This can be hard especially with friends that have been around for a long time. Distance yourself from them and eventually they will get the message. It’s almost impossible to get rid of negative family members so you need to learn how to manage them. If you have a particular relation who is always moaning and complaining ignore them. A sympathetic nod will do but don’t allow them to drag you into their problems.

Now is the time to start building the life that you want. There is no limit to what you can be, what you can do and what you can have. Enjoy the present and plan for the future.

If you enjoyed this blog please share it with your friends 🙂

How to Attract the Life you Want

01 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by thegraduate21 in Personal Development

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Tags

Bulletin board, Happiness, Health, Law of Attraction, Optimism, Rhonda Byrne, Secret, Thought, vision board

Throughout life’s journey we seek reassurance. We look for signs, anything that promises things will get better and we will get our hearts greatest desire-happiness. Happiness comes in many forms, but for most of us it’s a feeling of complete peace with yourself and the world. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and it can feel as if we are living in a constant state of depression. It’s not hard when we live in a world that says money equals success. Isn’t that the reason we went to university in the first place? We live in an uncertain world, jobs don’t last forever and nothing is promised. The only thing you can control are your thoughts. Throughout this Blog, I will explore how your thoughts can change your life.

The Law of Attraction

Most recently, the law of attraction has been explored in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. The law of attraction, is a belief that your thoughts manifest into reality. If you have negative thoughts you will live a negative life. Likewise, if your thoughts are positive that will be reflected in your life. The Secret, believes that you can use the laws of attraction to attain wealth, relationships and ultimately happiness. I am a realist, so naturally don’t believe that positive thoughts can produce financial reward. However, I do believe that your thoughts can affect your quality of life. Its the classic question of- is the glass half empty or half full? If you want to be happier, then you must focus on the good things in your life. For example ‘ I may not have a job but I have a loving and supportive family.’ Focus on things that you can change and accept the things that you can’t. In order to create a new life you must have a plan.

Create a Vision Board

A vision board is where you put all your goals and dreams. This can be a physical or virtually board, although I think a physical board is more effective. Buy a cork board as this will be suitable for pins.

This is how a digital one may look. Notice how there is space for all areas of your life.

On my vision board, I have a mixture of pictures and words. You can use magazines, draw or print pictures from the internet. The aim of this to have a physical picture of how you want your life to be. Place your vision board in your bedroom or your kitchen- you need to be able to see it everyday. This will keep you focused on your goals and give you a sense of purpose.

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are thoughts said out loud or in your head. I find it’s best to start the day with a positive affirmation such as ‘Today is going to be a good day.’ That will focus your mind and you will naturally become more positive. The first few weeks of positive thinking are always the hardest. You may find that your mind is filled with negative thoughts, but by having positive affirmations you will push them out. For example if you are socially awkward, you may always tell yourself that people don’t like you. Instead say ‘I am a interesting person and people like me.’ When you are in public it’s best to think these thoughts rather then say them- people might think your a bit weird. You will find yourself having negative thoughts from time to time- that’s normal. What you will find is your positive attitude, will instantly make life feel better. It’s time to be happy.

Be Proactive

Positive thinking is good, but there is more to changing your life then that. You should use this new attitude to tackle obstacles and create opportunities. What would you do if you knew that you couldn’t fail? Live like a child and read as if your still a student. Children do not experience fear and neither should you. Apply for the jobs/internships that make you feel nervous. Just because you have left university, doesn’t mean you should stop learning. This is your opportunity to learn about things that really interest you. Be creative, how can you enjoy life on a budget? Whatever you want to do, have self belief and you can do it.

I am sharing the law of attraction with you because I believe it works. Positive thinking has transformed my life and I am doing things that I never thought would be possible- you can to. It all starts with one positive thought.

Further reading/viewing

An overview of The Secret http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b1GKGWJbE8

An overview of The Law of Attraction http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

A tutorial on How to Create a Vision Board http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVVzrRZTwhc

Buy The Secret http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/

Jump start your life with Your Dream Career for Dummies http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dream-Career-Dummies