By Daniella Nzekwe
Is it just me, or do other graduates feel dissatisfied with life? I work the traditional 9-5 (even though I swore I never would), I look forward to Fridays and I spend my evenings and weekends at home. This sounds like the existence of a middle aged women who has long given up on her dreams. What happened to all the glitter and excitement? I spend money on clothes for that “special occasion” that never comes and I dream of tomorrow. A pointless dream because tomorrow is usually very similar to today. I’m tired of waiting for something to happen.
It was only after a bottle of wine and a deep conversation with my cousin, that I realised what the problem was. We are not celebrities who have glittering parties to attend. We don’t have enough money to create the kind of experiences we obsessively view on Pinterest or Instagram. Then there is the competition from our fellow graduates. There is always that one person who has landed that dream job but instead of being happy for them we cry into our morning coffee. Life has become a round of jealousy, resentment and depression. Life is far to precious to survive each day and wait for a better one. It’s time to claim back the present.
Reduce your Drug use
When I talk about drugs I’m referring mainly to coffee, alcohol and sugar. Obviously if your taking something stronger then that you should think about seeking help. I think coffee, alcohol and sugar are the most abused drugs and that’s because anyone can buy them. My fellow 9-5 workers understand the importance of coffee. It keeps us up and helps us work longer. Sugar is like coffee’s bitch, we need sugar to perk us up. I used to snack on sugar all day because I felt unable to cope without it. This meant that I was constantly experiencing extreme highs and lows. I loved and hated my life all at the same time. That wasn’t healthy and that’s why I hardly have sugar now. You shouldn’t use coffee and sugar as a way of coping with life. If your tired go to bed earlier. If you have worked hard pat yourself on the back, don’t reward yourself with sugar. You would be surprised at how these things can affect your body and how you view life.
Binge drinking is one way to accept your life for an evening but it won’t last. Most of us say that we drink because we want to relax or have fun. I believe that we drink because we want to escape something- life. I used to drink because I was so unhappy with everything that was happening in my life. I wasn’t in control and as things got worse I drank more. Life looked even worse with a hangover. If your upset feel it, if your unhappy with your life change it. We can only accept the life we have, when we truly allow ourselves to be present and fully experience it.
Stop Comparing Yourselves to Others
We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to others. There is always going to be someone who has a better job, car or house then you. There is nothing you can do about it. Everyone has their own troubles and challenges to overcome, so you shouldn’t compare your lives. Some people have more then you because they are willing to work harder for it. It’s time to recognise and appreciate all the things, people and opportunities you have in your life. What have you managed to achieve in the last year? If you working, you are one of the lucky few who have managed to find a job. Whether its a stop gap or your dream career, you should be grateful to have this opportunity to develop and grow as a professional and a person. Over the past year I have realised that life changes are gradual. We will have to live similar days over and over before anything exciting happens. These average days don’t mean that your life is boring or that progress isn’t happening. You just need to be patient.
Work on one goal at a time
One of the main ways to accept the life you have is working on the life that you want. We all have things that we want to achieve and goals can help us stay motivated but to many can make us stressed. It also means that you end up achieving very little. This makes us even more dissatisfied with the life we have. What is the one thing that you really want to change? Once you have a goal you need to make a plan. You are most likely to achieve a goal if you work on it at least once a week. Doing something for yourself will make you happy and daily life will become much more enjoyable. I spend most of my week helping people and sorting out their problems. The least I can do is show myself the same attention. By accepting your life, you will also realize the power you have to change it.
Life is a daily challenge and there is so much we don’t have control of. Social media means we are constantly tracking the lives of others, which means we often neglect ourselves. If you take anything from this blog it should be this- Accept the life you have, in order to get the life you want.
I thought Extreme Acceptance was a really interesting article on the Huffington Post. It’s all about acceptance being a state of mind. Does anyone else have trouble expecting their lives? Leave a comment below.