I have spent the last 18 months living like a ”proper adult”. Working the 9-5, hating Monday mornings and smoking cigarettes to take the edge of my stressful but mundane existence. Although I have recently quit my 5 a day habit, I still worry about my wobbly middle and when I will be able to afford to leave my parent’s house. I have gone through depression, manic positivity and back again. I was so preoccupied with what I felt my life should be that I have refused to live it. I would constantly make excuses about why I couldn’t do something. How could I go out when I should be saving? I knew that I was wasting my 20 something years.
Then suddenly something changed. I was looking back at my university albums on Facebook and I saw a girl I didn’t recognise. That girl loved to dress up, party and have fun. I could have a great night with just £20 but now I refused to go out unless I had £100. I wanted to feel like that again. I wanted to experience new things, travel the world and feel carefree. Don’t get me wrong my university years weren’t perfect but I did have some great experiences. To be honest I wasn’t sure where to start when it came to being carefree again. Then I discovered the best book I have ever read:
A no nonsense psychologist use’s her experience of the 20 something state to provide guidance on mental health, relationships and careers. Dr Meg said that most people see their 20s as an extended adolescence but it wasn’t. This is the one thing that I disagreed with. I think the 20 something years are actually a second adolescence. Do you remember what it was like to be 15? Raging hormones and loving and hating with equal measure. Most of all fiercely sticking to your beliefs. Well this time around it could be even better. As adults we tend to conform to the belief’s of our families, friends and society in general. Does this make you happy? This is your last chance to create an authentic life. A life filled with your passions, values and vision.
Find your vocation
When I left university I was determined to find a job that I loved. I always assumed it would be working in a Publishing House but my path took me to the Student Movement. As a student advisor I am responsible for providing academic advice. I also offer relationships advice, tissues and great hugs. My job allows me to use the skills that come naturally to me. I leave my office every night knowing that I have made a difference to someone’s life. My job isn’t glamorous and it wont make me rich but I love it. What do you love?
Ever heard the saying “find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life?” it’s true. I am always sorting out family disputes, relationship breakdowns and the problems of my friends- without payment I might add. I actually get paid to help people now, it can’t get better then that. Do you enjoy your job? If the answer is no then you need to find something better. You are too young to settle for a job that your not passionate about. This the time when we have minimal responsibilities. Find the career you want before you have real commitments like a mortgage or children.
Stop worrying and just do it
In January I booked a holiday to Gambia with my best friend. Why? Because it was cheap, cultured and hot. Simple. Would I have done something like this last year? No. I was too busy worrying about saving for my imaginary flat, my old age and anything else that my mother suggested. I pay a monthly pension (because old age will happen) and my bills. Everything else is there for what I like to call ”enjoy my life fund”. I am only here once and I want to experience as much of life as I can. Things change and there might be a time where I can’t be so spontaneous with my time or money but I can right now. What could you be doing right now?
I think we can hold ourselves back because we feel like we should be living like an adult. Are you parent’s happy with their lives? Some might be but most of them aren’t. The biggest regret I hear from older people is not doing more when they were younger. A holiday could give you a new perspective on life. Doing something different usually brings new opportunities. If you allow fear and worry to hold you back, your life will never be fun or exciting.
What does this all mean?
I came up with this blog when I was watching my favourite show called Absolutely Fabulous. The show is centred around two middle class alcoholics who live for the moment. For me it’s not about the drug taking or the chain smoking. It’s about two women who live according to their own rules. I think it’s important to make the most of our 20 something years. This might mean drinking until you pass out, travelling the world or just making time for hobbies. The important thing is to make the most of your time, your passions, and your loved ones.