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 unhappiness

 

Happiness so many different things and each person has their own definition. Like many of you, I felt that I would finally reach happiness when I graduated.  This was short lived and I was soon searching for something else to make me happy. The truth is no matter how many life goals I achieve, I will never be happy because I can’t appreciate what I already have.  How many of you really appreciate the people/ things that you have in your life?  Some people might call this ungratefulness but I think there is more to it than that. I like to think that we are part of the extreme dream generation. Our parents had dreams but they were more achievable then ours. Most of us want to own multiple properties, have a jet set career and have more money than we could ever spend. For the first time I’m beginning to think that there is something wrong with this.

 We are putting impossible expectations on ourselves and this is preventing us from enjoying life. How many of you are thinking about your next promotion when you haven’t even mastered your current position? Or maybe you’re obsessed with losing weight or finding your ideal partner.  I think that career, body and love are the three areas that most people would like to improve. You should remember that you have limited control in these areas of your life. It’s time to stop searching for happiness and realise that you already have it.

 I want…

This is a habit that starts in childhood and gets worse as we get older. We all deserve to enjoy a few of life’s luxuries but this can turn into an obsession.  If you begin to feel that your money/salary isn’t enough to fund your lifestyle then you may have a problem.  Your lifestyle should be adapted to your income. If you can’t afford to buy something on your debit card then you can’t afford it. Avoid credit cards and learn to live within your means. You will find that certain things will be out of your reach or you might have to save up for months in order to afford a holiday/ possession.  Ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice others things to get this. If the answer is yes then save, if the answer is no then you have decided that this thing is not a necessity.  Once you begin to do this, you will no longer associate happiness with possessions.

 I hate my job…

This is a common one.  Many of us begin to hate our job when we feel unappreciated, bored or want a fresh start. The first thing you need to ask yourself is do you hate the job or is it the people? Most people will work with at least one person that they don’t like but you shouldn’t allow this to ruin your life. Grin and bear it. Be polite to that person but decline any social events that they may be attending.  If you feel that you hate your job then you need to ask yourself what you don’t like about it. Maybe you find it uninspiring or it doesn’t allow you to achieve a good work/life balance. Discuss this with your manager and see if things can be improved. If nothing changes then you should begin to look for something better. It won’t be easy but in the long run you will be happier.  You spend most of your life at work and it’s up to you to choose the right job and environment.

 My Life is boring….

What do you want from your life? This could be anything from travelling the world to learning how to cook Greek food. No one has the right to limit you to a job, a friendship group or a country. When you have decided what you want then you can begin to make these things happen. It’s easy to compare your life to others but remember people publicise their successes and not their struggles.  Explore your interests and hobbies on a regular basis. This might turn into a business or could simply be a way to relax. Life is what you make it and only you can decide how exciting your journey is.

 I wish I could leave home…

This one is close to my heart as I’m always wishing that I could move out. It has become a bit of an obsession and I convince myself that I won’t be happy until I leave. Most people don’t enjoy living at home as you can’t have the freedoms you would have living at alone. However, I have started to look at the benefits or not pay a large rent and having minimal responsibility. This extra money means I can do more things and learn to budget without the pressures of running a house. Use this time to prepare for your independent life. This means living under mum and Dad’s rules to keep the peace. This is going to be a hard one to stick to and it might not always happen.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. Try not to attach your happiness to moving out.

 I’m not achieving my goals…

This is a very personal one for me and something that I think about on a daily basis. Why am I not achieving my goals faster? In an ideal world we would work on our goals everyday but life gets in the way. If you find that you’re not achieving anything, then you should ask yourself if you’re trying to achieve too much. Gradual change is better than none and you can’t expect to achieve everything overnight. Sometimes it’s good to take a break from achieving and enjoy just living. Waking up in the morning without an extensive to do list or giving yourself a break if you’re tired.  Get out of this “no excuses” mind frame and be kind to yourself. Taking a more relaxed approach to your goals will make them more enjoyable rather than tedious.

 You don’t have to wait until January before you can begin to feel happy. Enjoy the journey while you create the life that you want.

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